To be free in mourning
- A large room has settled in me, which gives me the strength to continue my life in front of me - says Mrs. Dorota, a participant of the retreat "How to experience mourning" in the Licheń sanctuary, which took place on the first weekend of September.
It was valuable for the participants to share a shared experience of pain, though differently experienced, and individual meetings with the lecturers - psychologist Monika Potera and Fr. Zbigniew Borkowski, MIC, who supported the retreatants spiritually. They learned to understand their own behavior, thoughts, and others.
The psychologist explained the mechanisms of experiencing mourning and the right to individual feelings. - It was important for me to be informed that my children may experience mourning differently than I do. The fact that this process progresses faster in them does not mean that it is bad - says Dorota in Warsaw.
Fr. Borkowski, director of the Licheń Center for Assistance to Families and Addicts, emphasized that everyone is on the way, and the dead have already reached the Father's House, where they are waiting for their loved ones. - We are united by pain, but the experience together helps create a bond. We know that the group will understand us, and the leaders are open to every question - adds the participant. Help in mourning should be more widespread, even in school education, because it affects everyone, says Dorota from Warsaw. - Mourning people face inappropriate behavior. The advice "it will be fine, time heals all wounds" does not support. It's worth saying: "remember, you can call and write at any time of the day or night, I'm here to help." We're still normal, we're just suffering and each of us needs something different. We also learn to express our needs - he says.
The participants supported each other in sharing. - At the beginning, I saw suffering and sad people, and now I see the pained, but with hope. With joy in the eyes and peace in the heart - says Fr. Zbigniew Borkowski. - Many questions about salvation arise when, in an emergency, the young person was not prepared for death, therefore individual talks are needed. All participants emphasized that God was their relief and strength. Many of them, through the experience of the death of a loved one, strengthened their bond with God, says the Marian. He admitted that it was a valuable time, as for a priest, he gained a lot of knowledge about experiencing mourning. First of all, to give everyone the freedom to experience loss according to their needs.
